dailycrap

I hate everything!!” The kid who says
that in Powerpuff Girls is my personal favorite. Let’s take it one step at a
time:

- I hate the alarm clock ringing, it makes
my blood pressure go sky-high and my mood go terribly down.

- I hate the weatherman. I’m now
onion-dressed, with jackets over sweaters over t-shirts & trying to peel
myself off. All because of that nasty man, who scared the shit out of me with
his apocalyptical visions of the weather to come.

- I hate Mondays. They should ban them
forever! If I am to die someday (totally improbable), I’ll bet it’s gonna
happen on a Monday morning. There’s no other day more suitable for such dark
& depressing matters.

- I hate the rain; it always lands on my
glasses, regardless of how big my umbrella is.

- I hate the subway, with all the trains
leaving the station just when I’m hurrying down the stairs, about to lose my
breath.
I hate the other people inside, who haven’t
bathed in ages and always find a way to rub themselves against my until-then-clean-self.
“No touchy!”, I keep repeating in my mind, like a mantra, but their ears are far
too filled with wax and their minds asleep under the thick layer of dust to
hear me.

- I hate my office desk, placed just
properly between the door (so everyone can stare at me, while I’m gracefully
scratching my ass) and the bathroom, with a splendid view of the sink,
accompanied by the charming murmur of the toilet. Doesn’t anyone want to switch
places? Of course not, they don’t wanna rob me of the pleasure and privilege.

- I hate the fact I’m always the last to
know when something happens around here & my duties grow accordingly.
“What? You didn’t know? Well shut up and work!”. “Yes, master!”

Listening to the radio (good thing I have
earphones, the first thing I’ve bought when I came here).

Not that I like radio so much, but it’s a
pleasant change. On my way to and from, I choose who’s next on my playlist.
Now it’s like I’m letting shuffle take over.

Very disappointed I can’t install iTunes.
It’s quite totalitarian. Nobody can download anything; it’s against the
internal laws.

Can’t really understand why, after all,
it’s not stopping us to elude work.

Now if we can’t mess, we meebo. And of
course, where there’s a will, there’s a way, so I managed to install Firefox
& Winamp.

Oh, c’mon, what harm can mozilla do? Why
must I play with Iexplorer? It’s not nice & it doesn’t make me feel any
better, so up yours, Mr. You-cant-install-any-software-on-your-computer. You’re
not fun and I don’t like you. Have a lemon.

Speaking of absurd regulations, we have a
so-called problem here, with everybody arriving late at the office. It’s
getting quite annoying, with more or less subtle management reminders &
threats.

Well, dears, haven’t you noticed that
nobody really leaves at 6 pm sharp? Then why do you insist on arriving at 9?
That’s such a cruel hour. We should erase it from our clocks memory, I say. And
it’s even more hypocrite, cause, thanks to the fact I usually arrive pretty
early, I can see a habit here: even the management doesn’t bother to come at
the hour they demand. Well that’s fucked up. You can’t preach what you don’t
practice, haven’t you learned that yet?

I don’t have the experience to generalize
this state of facts, but I think it’s a common mistake, supposing that the
chair you sit on gives you absolute power and unconditional respect. It doesn’t
and it won’t ever.

It’s sad, after all the common sense stuff
about people management I’ve learned, to see how someone who should know and
practice all the subtleties about convincing people to do what you want, how
you want it, has such a primitive view about their employees.

Now, people, that’s no way to get your
company among “top 100 company for which to work”. Free coffee &
tee doesn’t really count, believe me.

Like how good red wine and AC/DC go together.

Like there are people who resist my
temptation for quarrel and let the real conversations follow their path (and I
love them for that and for whole other reasons).

Like the fact I’m wearing red doesn’t make
Mondays less dull (or maybe the more I try overcoming this dullness, the more
it’ll choke me).

Like the best things are the ones who come
unexpected.

Like the more you dream about something,
the probability for it to happen decreased dramatically.

Like you can find satisfaction in scrubbing
the stove.

Like I should stop wishing to be someone
else. It won’t happen, really.

Like the dust really needs wiping, it won’t
simply disappear.